Hello! Did you all miss me? I've been busy moving back to college and working on the Cluster, our school newspaper. I'll have a real post later, but in the meantime, here's something I wrote last year.
The Bug: A Play in two (short) Acts
Large Roach (to be played by himself)
scene: Garden Apartment kitchen, complete with steel security door. Roommate 1 is standing by the stove, making macaroni. Roommate 2 is leaning against the counter. Roommate 3 is offstage, presumably in her room. Enter Large Roach, unnoticed on the ceiling, crossing from stage right to stage left.
R2: There’s a lot of cheese in this packet.
R1: Yeah. I was thinking about not using all of it.
R2: When I was little, I called this fake macaroni. It was only “real” macaroni if you grated your own cheese.
R1: I did the same thing. It was real if my mom made it.
R2: How—sees LR and cuts off
R1: How what? follows R1’s gaze and sees LR, now crossing above stove top. R2 quickly covers pot of noodles.
R2: Quick…we need a broom or something! This exclamation is followed by a short moment of desperation as R1 and R2 realize there is not, in fact, a broom in the apartment. Someone get a shoe!
R3 enters downstage right holding a flip-flop R3: Oh no! How did it get in here?
R1: I guess it got in under the door. All stare dramatically at the door, as if expecting an army of roaches to force their way in.
R2: Here, give me the shoe. I’ll see if I can get him.
R1: Don’t knock him into the food!
R2 makes several unsuccessful attempts to hit Large Roach. She stops. R2: I can’t hit it. I’m too short.
R1: Let me try. Takes flip-flop and tries to hit LR, equally unsuccessfull. Crosses downstage and grabs a stool. Standing on stool, she hits LR. LR falls onto top of cabinets. R1 climbs on counter to look for him. I can’t see him!
R2: There’s a squish mark on the ceiling. He’s probably fatally wounded.
R3: I agree.
R1: Well, that was exciting.
R2 and R3: Sure was!
R3 exits. R1 and R2 resume original positions, and continue discussion on “real” versus “fake” macaroni. Unbeknownst to them, however, Large Roach, has rolled himself back onto his (now) 5 legs.
to be continued…